He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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