Porn is love you can see.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
