she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
