i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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