There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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