remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
