how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
