he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
