I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
