David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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