Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
