why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
