well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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