Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
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