ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
