I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize