a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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