Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
