i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
All I want is dick and wine.
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