It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
3pm strippers are depressing
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
