worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
