Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
