O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
