I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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