I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
