i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
