i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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