And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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