Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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