is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
