I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
