Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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