'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
