I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
and you fell through a lawn chair
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
