physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
