Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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