apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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