Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
