giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
