That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Alive.
So much puke
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
