no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
