Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
