so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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