Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
