But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
