SEEEEXXX PLEASE
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize