was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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