its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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