I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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