Kiss
Puke
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
