I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
