This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
There's even glitter on my cock...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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