Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
