It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
