just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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