someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
