i just wanna soil my oats bro
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
