Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
