coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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