Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
